As the uncle serves them baked potatoes, he casually mentions that a coronavirus vaccine will be used to inject microchips into our bodies to track us.
Or maybe it's that point when a friend starts talking about how Covid-19 "doesn't exist." Or when loud tales are told about QAnon and elite Satanists who eat babies.
These are some of the cases listed as possible in a BBC article, where many of us may face talking not about legitimate political questions and debates, but about strange conspiracies and fabrications.
For this reason, the BBC presents some of the options that can be used when encountering people who believe in conspiracy theories, without ruining the end-of-year holidays.
- Keep calm.
Although it is important to confront lies, it is never helpful to become upset as a result of them.
"My number one rule would be to not ruin Christmas," says Mick West, author of Escaping the Rabbit Hole. "An angry, heated conversation will leave everyone feeling left out and further conspiratorial beliefs."
Psychologist Jovan Byford, a lecturer at the Open University in the UK, has observed that conspiracy theories often have a strong emotional dimension.
“They are not just about right and wrong,” he says, “but underpinned by feelings of rage, anger and indignation about the way the world works.”
And these theories have flourished this year, with many people seeking correct explanations for the pandemic, American politics, and major world events.
Catherine from England understands this better than most. The 38-year-old was once a big believer in conspiracies about vaccines being used to intentionally harm people. She has since dismissed such claims.
- Don't be disrespectful.
“Approach conversations with friends and family with empathy, not ridicule,” says Claire Wardle of First Draft, an NGO that combats misinformation. “Listen patiently.”
Her golden rule is: never shame someone for their views. That's likely to backfire.
“If you decide to discuss conspiracy theories, don’t throw yourself into the other person’s beliefs,” agrees Jovan Byford. “Establish some common ground.”
Remember that people often believe conspiracy theories because deep down, they are worried. Try to understand those feelings – especially in a year like the one we just had.
- Encourage critical thinking
People who believe in conspiracy theories often say, "I do my own research."
The problem is that their research tends to consist of watching disturbing videos on YouTube, following random people on Facebook, and obtaining evidence and facts on suspicious social media accounts.
But the spirit of doubt that permeates the internet with conspiratorial thoughts is actually a major opening for rational thought, says Jovan Byford.
“Many people who believe in conspiracy theories see themselves as healthy skeptics and self-taught researchers into complex issues,” he says. “Present this as something that, in principle, you value and share.”
"Your goal is not to make them less curious or skeptical, but to change what they are curious or skeptical about."
- Ask a question
Fact-checking is important, but it's often not the right way to go when someone passionately believes in a conspiracy. Questions are far more effective than statements, experts say.
“Focusing on the tactics and techniques used by people pushing disinformation is a more effective way to address these conversations than trying to whitewash the information,” says Claire Wardle.
Think about general questions that encourage people to think about what they believe. For example, are some of their beliefs contradictory? Do the details of the theory they are describing make much sense? Have they thought about counter-evidence?
“By asking questions and making people understand the flaws, you ultimately make people doubt their own self-confidence and open them up to hearing alternative views,” says former conspiracy believer Phil.
- Don't expect immediate results.
For people who have fallen deep into the conspiracy hole, getting out can be a very long process.
"Be realistic about what you can achieve," warns psychologist Jovan Byford. "Conspiracy theories instill in believers a sense of superiority. It's an important generator of self-esteem – which will make them resistant to change."
But experts agree that even if you don't see immediate results – you shouldn't give up.
(Article published by BBC)